I have a guilty conscience, and I’ve been ignoring it for long enough. I can no longer stand idly by and watch the moral fiber of this country degrade in the way that only moral fibers can. It’s time that I step up and do what’s right for America, and that means that I have to get informed. By fine folks like the ones producing this mailing.

Because of mailings like this, I now understand the finer points of the liberal agenda. Brainwashed by those dastardly liberal media, I was previously unaware of major parts of the Democratic platform, especially the part about banning the Bible. Can you believe those Northeast Ivy League elitist liberals?

And what’s worse, they want to allow gay people to enjoy healthy loving relationships! We can’t let them get away with that. If Adam and Steve are allowed to marry, my wife might leave me! Or my kids might grow up without a major portion of the population to spite or make fun of. This is unacceptable. Legalized bigotry is every American’s God-given right!

Besides, it’s even in the Bible that gays are unacceptable. Ha! I don’t remember quite where just now, but it’s somewhere between the rules about taking multiple wives and the part about not eating shellfish. So there. Documented evidence.

Indeed, upon opening the mailing, I expect to learn even more. Judging by the well-documented evidence and reasoned tone of this mailing, I plan to be shown graphic pictures of Democrats eating their young. Those pro-death atheist bastards, they just make me want to lethally inject mentally incompetent people with rage.

I’ll tell you, all this liberal agenda stuff is worrying me. I think the second coming is upon us. I mean, first the formation of Israel, as prophecied, and now this!?! I’m sure glad I live in Arkansas.

Posted on September 26th, 2004 by Lee
Tagged: Politics