OK, so I went to a funeral today. That is not funny, and it’s not particularly fun to talk about. But substitute a wedding/job interview/any other important occasion, and perhaps you can see the humor in the story of my morning.

• 2:30 AM: I go to sleep. Deciding that I should do some important stuff in the morning before the funeral at 11:30, I set my alarm for 8:00.
• 8:00 AM: Alarm goes off. I decide that maybe getting up at 8 wasn’t such a good idea. I set the alarm for 9:00… or so I think. Actually, in my half awake state, I set the time to 9:00.
• 10:50 AM: I wake up, having slept through my alarm. Shocked to see what time it is, and trying hard not to be late to the 11:30 service, I rush in and out of the shower, get dressed in a hurry, and fly out the door and into my vehicle.
• 11:12 AM: I actually depart my house. I had figured on leaving at 11:05, so I’m running late and speeding to make up for time. I figure if I’m lucky I won’t be too late.
• 11:28 AM: I zoom into the church parking lot, surprised to see only a couple dozen cars in the parking lot. I’m worried that this is only a service for family, and that I will feel awkward. I park quickly and try to slip discretely into the church.
• 11:29 AM: OK, I’ve made it, and I’m not late. I walk into the church to find it empty. Shocked and confused, I find someone who is busy getting things ready to find out what is going on. We have the following conversation:
  • Me: The service starts at 11:30, right?
  • Him: Yeah, I think so.
  • Me: It looks like people are running late.
  • Him: Yeah, I think you’re the first one here.
  • Me: That’s funny, I thought I was going to be late.
  • Him: Well, you know, it’s only 10:30!

Apparently I was in such a hurry that I didn’t look at the hour on any other clock I saw between the time I woke up and the time I got there. I didn’t have anyplace else to go, especially not in a suit, so I drove home, sat here for all of 15 minutes, and went back, on time.

This is pretty bad, even for me.

Posted on October 21st, 2004 by Lee
Filed under: Uncategorized