Alicia and I are no more.

The decision came over the phone on Saturday morning. I was at ALHC, and I woke up after a late night of dancing to call her. We had scheduled the call, because we knew there were some serious issues we had to talk about it. Almost an hour later, we had reached our verdict, and we went on our ways.

Of course, when I told the woman whose floor I was staying on about this, she replied “guess who’s hooking up tonight?” She even went so far as to offer me use of her booze. Then, when no such hookup happened, she told me to make up a good story.

On some level, I knew this was coming. We had major issues, and there was no doubt about it. Besides the fact that our communication has been really poor, it was increasingly clear that she felt that any contact we had was impeding her “China experience.” Moreover, she has stated that she wants to change how she spends her time when she gets back to Carleton, and that she thinks I will get in the way of that.

Do I believe her? Not really. Maybe I’m just stubborn, hoping for a loophole that magically makes her better off with me than without me. But what processing I’ve been able to do makes me feel like this whole scenario is really just a reflection of a deeper problem. I spent time today at work writing down my thoughts. Tomorrow morning I think we’re going to talk and see what we can sort out.

Moving forward after a relationship that lasted so long is pretty tough. She and I were together for a year and nine months. Even though transitioning to “single life” doesn’t mean much now, it’s going to be a bigger deal when it’s time to return to school. For now, I’m just trying to keep moving along as normally as possible.

Somehow, I sound remarkably calm for all this, don’t I? Maybe it’s all that Mason Jennings I’ve been listening to.

Posted on October 26th, 2004 by Lee
Filed under: Uncategorized