Absentee voting sucks.

OK, fine, so you don’t have to stand in line to vote, which is good. But it’s worse, especially if you’re a student whose street address has changed. You have to fill out a registration form. Then you have to have the whole thing notarized, before you can actually vote. Then you have to vote “in secret” while the notary public is still waiting right there. Then finally you have to seal the whole thing, send it, and just hope that your vote actually gets counted.

Economists like to talk about how small the expected return on voting is, and how given the costs and benefits of voting, it is surprising that voter turnout is so high. There must be other reasons, such as social factors, that people consider to be a benefit of voting.

Duh! It’s the stickers! There is nothing cooler or more fun on Election Day than wearing your little “I voted” sticker. If the sticker could finish the sentence, it would probably say “I voted, but you, you girly man, are a pox unto this great democracy; may your taxes be low, your healthcare be expensive, and your firstborn be drafted and killed in the name of neocon nutjobs everywhere.” As an absentee voter, you miss out on this opportunity to further inflate your already ballooning ‘educated voter’ ego.

Fine, so Minnesota is close enough that mine could be the deciding vote. At least in theory. And yes, the election is important. But seriously. I’m in it for the sticker.

Posted on October 27th, 2004 by Lee
Filed under: Uncategorized