Dear Customer,

Please do not be offended at my grocery bagging. I did not intend to bag in a way that was unacceptable to you.

You are not wrong for desiring the bagging choice you requested. Even if it wastes bags, is nearly impossible, and/or could endanger your health, it is a valid choice, and I wish to honor it.

I am deeply sorry that you were forced to correct me for the bagging assumption I made. It is my sincerest hope that all my bags come out exactly as desired, on the first try, without any communication with the customer. This ensures that you can make the best use of your valueable time in the checkout line, by doing things such as selecting the appropriate candy, disciplining your children, or making calls on your cell phone.

I respect that since I am a young male who is not currently in school, I am a whippersnapper hooligan who has no future and cannot possibly be a good cashier. In addition, I understand that you believe that a woman’s place is in the grocery store, and that you treat me as suspect because people of my gender do not “belong” here. I seek only to avoid putting you in the uncomfortable position of actually having to communicate with such an uncivilized, chauvinist beast such as myself.

Furthermore, I recognize that you believe that you are teaching me a great moral lesson by correcting my bagging. Mankind is surely better off because I double-bagged your gallon of milk, because I kept your ice cream separate, or because I saved a bag by putting your chicken in with your avocados. By correcting my errant ways, you are improving the youth of America, spreading your genius to the world, and defeating the heathen terrorists.

The righteousness of your moral crusade is in no way compromised by the fact that the customer behind you just asked me to do exactly the opposite, with equal conviction and equal sociological satisfaction.

I will attempt to do better in the future. If possible, I will retain your name, your bagging preferences, and any other information that may help me to serve you better. If this is not possible, then I will read your mind, to ensure that you no longer have to ask me to do that which is so obvious to you.

I implore you not to let this mistake negatively impact your impressions of me or this store. I hope that you will continue to shop at Wegmans, where every day you get our best!

Sincerely,
Lee the cashier

Posted on November 8th, 2004 by Lee
Filed under: Uncategorized