One thing I have to admit about Carleton. We may be a bunch of dorks, but we have some cool parties.
The fact that it was 5 below did not stop me last night from going to the Carleton “Anything but clothes” party. I managed to make an outfit by taping and stapling together an old sheet and some garbage bags, then attaching plastic silverware to make myself look like a skeleton. Apparently I lost not only my clothes, but also my skin, my muscles, and perhaps my dignity.
I probably had as much fun making the costume as I had at the party though. Coming back after a term off, you feel like you hardly know anyone, especially since the whole place is teeming with freshmen (that are somehow much more attractive that I ever remember previous freshman classes being. Am I just slowly turning into a sketchy old man?)
Also, I was sober. I was too busy taping myself into my costume to pregame. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but it’s a lot easier to make your own fun when you’re drunk than when you’re sober, almost everyone around you isn’t, you don’t know most of them, and you’re there with your ex-girlfriend.
But let’s not dwell on such things. After all, where else could you have an all-campus “anything but clothes” party in the student center? Even if I can’t meet people, even if I can’t avoid being awkward, no matter what, I can be proud of that.
Cause that’s just cool.
No, I swear that the freshman are getting more attractive every year. However - we can explain this rationally.
Assume that people spend less time grooming as a function of time spent at Carleton. Freshman, being early on in their personal-care-failure function, still shower and put on nice clothes. We old sketchy men, on the other hand, have gained Carleton Goggles that set everyone in our year (Juniors) as “normal.”
Thus, by comparison, freshman look decidedly attractive.
Q.E.D.
Dude, you did not make that costume. I taped you INTO that costume and taped the silverware to your body and cut little itty bitty pieces of duct tape out, etc. So there.
Sketchy old man? I may be over the hill, but I’m not sketchy. Er… not that sketchy.
And most people I know dress better now than they did as freshmen, so I think the personal-care-failure explanation is bogus.
Most people I ask say something about Carleton going “mainstream” because it has become a more popular school with a bigger reputation. Of course, these same people are the same ones that hypothesize about the decline of the liberal student body. Which begs the question… are liberals just more ugly?
And credit where credit is due, Alicia did tape/staple me into my costume. Thanks for the help.
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