I was doing so well this term.

I stayed up till 4:30 in the morning talking to my housemates and didn’t get sick. My friends, housemates, roommates, girlfriend all got sick, and I didn’t get sick. I went to New Orleans, danced like crazy, basically didn’t sleep for 3 days, and didn’t get sick.

But now I’m sick. Go figure.

After some time at college, you learn that there are broad classifications of illness. More specifically, there are broad classifications of the common cold. For example, you can get the “hit you like a ton of bricks, can’t breath at all, but gone in 72 hours” cold. You can also get the “eases in, nags you for a couple weeks, goes away without event” cold. A lucky few seem to be able to stretch this cold for a whole term.

I’m somewhere in the middle of all of these. This is a “you’ve been holding out on the edge for weeks, you knew it was gonna happen, and now that it has you hope it’s quick.” It’s also a “you know you can’t get better unless you sleep, but you can’t sleep until you get better.”

It’s important to learn these classifications, because they are a crucial part of winter-time social interaction. When someone asks “how are you,” they’re really saying “I’m sick and incapable of real human interaction. Please give me a soundbite of your life that will allow me to feel as if I still have friends, despite the fact that I am overworked, it’s freezing out, and all I want to do is crawl into a fetal position with a cup of hot tea and a box of Sudafed.” In return, you had better be prepared to describe the exact state of your cold with laser precision in 5 seconds or less. Any more, and you’re risking offending someone with that horrible “coming down with a cold” breath of yours.

I’m gonna go lay in bed and breath with my mouth open.

Posted on February 23rd, 2005 by Lee
Filed under: Uncategorized