Finally, I got so annoyed with the squeaking and scratching going on in the wall right behind my desk that I called Security to see if they had any suggestions. They called the pest control guy, who came in yesterday and decided that nothing can be done until the thing leaves. Lot of help that was.

In the meantime, I’ve been doing a little reading about bats. Here’s what I’ve learned:

• Fact 1: It’s a big brown bat. There are many different types of bats that live in Minnesota, but only one species will hibernate in houses, because they can handle the cold temperatures of living in places like chimneys. It makes me feel really good to know that not only am I harboring a bat, but I am harboring the biggest possible kind.
• Fact 2: The more it wakes up, the more likely it is to die in there. Bats, apparently, take a lot of energy to wake up in the morning. Like, so much, that if they wake up too often while hibernating, they lose too much of their body fat and starve to death. Which will smell. Nifty.
• Fact 3: Bats wake up naturally when the temperature goes above freezing. Basically, more global warming means more annoying bat noises in my walls. I blame George W. Bush.
• Fact 4: Bats are our friends. Every single website on bats must have reiterated this 100,000 times. I’m all for friendly bats, and bats can be my friends, but I don’t tolerate my other friends scratching on my walls and hissing at me in the middle of the night either.

So basically, I’m screwed. I can only hope that by the time I get back from Spring break, Mr. Bat has decided to take up residence somewhere else. Maybe at the President’s house across the street.

And finally, of course, for your listening pleasure, here’s the bat hiss:

Posted on March 4th, 2006 by Lee
Filed under: Uncategorized