I’ve given up on being a shrill dissenter. After all, most of us are dissenters these days, aren’t we? The more time you spend with shrill dissenters, the more you realize that most of them are just intolerable. They’re opportunistic, they oversimplify, they mischaracterize; in short, they’ll say anything to put down the object of their spite.

Much better to be a snide observer. Snide observers are always right. After all, no matter what happens, they still get to be snide about it. I don’t have to assent to such obviously silly statements as “Bush is an idiot” or “Bush is too stupid to understand why he’s wrong.” In fact, I don’t have to think that W. is stupid at all. I just have to rest assured that I am smarter/more ethical/better in bed than he is (although Bush certainly is in bed with a lot of people isn’t he?)

The great thing about being snide about the Bush administration is that it’s so easy. Watching the news these days is like watching a train wreck–in slow motion. Actually, it’s more like watching someone fall over from drinking too much. You feel vaguely bad about it, and you know it sure sucks for them, but damn is it funny!
Nonetheless, I can’t help but laugh when I read this (from the U.S. Food Policy blog):

Washington Post columnist Al Kamen this morning:

Career appointees at the Department of Agriculture were stunned last week to receive e-mailed instructions that include Bush administration “talking points” — saying things such as “President Bush has a clear strategy for victory in Iraq” — in every speech they give for the department.

The funniest part of the column is an attachment that USDA officials are supposed to use as a template, showing how easy it is to change any speech topic to a commentary on our success in Iraq.

Here is a general all-purpose transition:

Several topics I’d like to talk about today — Farm Bill, trade with Japan, WTO, avian flu, animal ID — but before I do, let me touch on a subject people always ask about… progress in Iraq.

Here is an example for use by a USDA official who might be giving a talk about civil rights in the administration of U.S. agricultural programs:

So, before I begin talking about the civil rights climate at USDA, I’d like to address the situation in another nation that is just now forging the path to democracy.

… (read the rest)

I’m not even sure I have something snide enough to say about this. Unlike most of the political news these days, it’s not scary, just over-the-top. Like watching drunk people fall over. Humorously pathetic.

In that spirit, I think this deserves a formal reply. Perhaps I’ll mail it along to Pennsylvania Avenue. What do you think?

Dear President Bush:

Keep on chugging Mr. President. History won’t vindicate you, but we’re still stuck with you, and you’re still stuck with us. Just look busy so we don’t have to feel so bad about electing you. Don’t worry, the embarrassment will all be over soon. Thanks.

Sincerely,
A Snide Observer

Too harsh? Nay, not harsh enough.

Posted on May 12th, 2006 by Lee
Filed under: Uncategorized