If there’s one thing in the world that’s more annoying than spam, it’s MySpace spam.

Most people have probably experienced it, but for those who haven’t, it works like this: some ne’er-do-well creates a bogus profile, then tries to add you as their friend. Why? Once they are your friend, they can use things like spam bots to try to lure you into porn sites and the like. They can sell the information with the added bonus of saying that you think gullible is written on the ceiling. Or even worse, they can insert redirects so that as soon as you click on their profile you’re looking at pictures that make the intimate dating service ads look like they were taken at a church picnic.

MySpace spam is highly targeted by demographic. Read: young horny males who will friend anyone with a hot picture (others too I’m sure, but these are the ones I get). The young part and the male part are pretty easy to figure out, but sometimes it’s hard to figure out the horny part. Well, no, that’s not true either, sometimes its painfully obvious, but let’s just leave that little detail of social networking aside, shall we? (Oh, you silly silly Americans).

Point being, I’ve decided that there are two simple ways to get targeted by MySpace spammers. One, be young and have a modestly attractive picture of yourself. Two, have a lot of friends from different places.

The first one is self explanatory. Unfortunately, it’s also pretty hard to avoid if you’re vain like me. Maybe I could put up a picture of me picking my nose. That would reduce the spam, right?

The second one, well, that seems to be the kicker. Between Lindy Hop, Carleton, and high school, I have almost 100 friends. Mostly young, and owing to the social miracles of social dancing, mostly female. All legit, of course, but how’s a spam bot to know that? To it, I look no better than this guy. *shudder*

That’s why I’ve gotten at least a dozen fake friend invites in the last day alone.

So I’m making an announcement. I hate all of you. You’re not my friends. More importantly, you’re most definitely not my MySpace friends, a class of friend that is far more exclusive than any mere offline “friend.” I’ve had enough. If you will please just unfriend me, so my vicarious virtual life can return to normal, everyone will be happier for it.

Why can’t I unfriend you? Well, why should I do all the work? I’m the victim here!

Right, so hop to.

Posted on September 9th, 2006 by Lee
Filed under: Uncategorized